I used to be a card-carrying member of the Cult of Busy and it almost killed my Spirit.
It's embarrassing to admit because as a Psychotherapist, it's my job not only to help people heal, but also to know a thing or two about what makes a healthy and high-quality life. For me, though, my teachings usually come from my own hard-earned lessons.
Years ago, I worked myself into the ground. I was constantly overwhelmed and felt like I was living inside a panic attack. I rushed everywhere. Always felt behind.
I would see eight therapy clients back-to-back everyday without a break, a monumental feat. Then there was the paperwork. The blogging and social media efforts. The groups I ran in addition to my client load. The extra creative work I'd put into always innovating. The trainings. Plus an overfull, out-at-least-five-nights-a-week social calendar.
And there was still so much I wanted to accomplish that never got done! I never questioned my belief that I just needed to figure out a way to do more or my fantasy about a team of assistants at the ready.
Now, here's the really disturbing thing.
I wore my bursting-at-the-seams life as a badge of honor.
I'd commiserate with other female friends with a measured, half-complaint, half-brag. I didn't see the problem that was staring me in the face.
I'd created an "amazing life" that had no room in it for feeding or nourishing me. It was all output and very little receptivity.
No room for me to have a lazy pleasure day in bed. No room for comforts like a good book, time out in the sunshine, time to watch some Netflix, time to connect deeply with Spirit, time to take vacations, or time for a yoga practice where I took my time and didn't rush. In other words, no room for quality time.
While I was chock-full of passion and inspiration and fire (always have been) and that felt good, I was really missing out on the pleasures of softening into a more feminine way of being. A way where listening to my own body and rhythms and flow is at the center of my life as an anchor from which the "doing" initiates. A way where being is valued as much as doing.
A way where who I am is what makes me loveable, not what I do.
My way of life was a little bit like an active addiction. The way I "got clean" of it was through my yoga teacher, Ana Forrest, harping on me about my breath, always telling me to use my breath to learn how to take in nourishment.
When I'd speak, she'd tell me she wanted me to first breathe in a way that was so nourishing to me that it cleared out any trace of exhaustion or burden in my voice.
Eventually I learned. My nervous system re-wired to be able to slow down. I cleared out the anxiety. I completely rearranged my life and business to make time for rest, receptivity, flow, Spirit, yoga, vacations, and pleasure. (These days my life includes more of me than it does of my to-do list, but it took time to get here).
And now I realize that The Cult of Busy isn't just my thing.
We live in a culture of women who're overworking and exhausting themselves and still believe they should be doing more to be a better wife, mom, or professional.
Women who're prioritizing their to-do lists above the nourishment of their Spirit. Women who don't know that their value in the world isn't measurable by how much they can take on. Women who don't have a felt sense in their bones of being enough.
I'm here to tell you: Your life was meant to stand for more than just proving that you're enough.
It's ok to slow down and feel good. And, if you're a part of The Cult of Busy, that means there's deep, heart-opening healing available for you that's calling your name. (You're reading this, aren't you?)
I know this not just because it's my story, but also because I see it with women in my office every week. There are tons of us. It's incredibly brave to break the addiction to busy-ness, look deeply at what's driving it in the first place, and begin to heal, but it's so worth it.
Our world desperately needs nourished women who're open channels for their creativity and power. Women who're willing to let their priorities be dictated not by The Cult of Busy, but by a desire to feel deeply fulfilled.
So begin. Start with a deep, nourishing breath. And then another. And then another. And then leave me a comment below and let me know if this is familiar to you and whether you've ever been a member of The Cult of Busy.
You know more women want to hear this message, so please share this on social media!
With deep, nourishing breaths,