I know. You don't want to repeat the same old worn out behaviors in the coming year. Me neither.
We call them patterns because they're what we do when we go on auto-pilot or get unconscious. We have ruts in our brain that favor doing the same thing over and over again.
No matter that the behaviors might be dulling our life force or reinforcing something we're desperate to leave behind. We still let ourselves get seduced by the familiar pattern when we're not paying attention.
Which is a lot of the time because let's face it, it's difficult to be present all the time.
So here's the deal. To make changes this year, you don't have to crack the code, figure out where the pattern comes from and fully annihilate it. You don't have to get it perfect. Don't make it harder than it is.
All you have to do is something different.
Move closer when you'd normally move away. Hold your reaction. Get curious instead of furious. Disobey your fear. Find out if you can indeed live without that extra glass of wine. In situations where it's safe, try yes when you'd say no and no when you'd say yes.
Do something different and let it scramble your brain and therefore, the pattern. Interrupt the seduction going on inside. Break the spell.
No, it might not be graceful, but who cares? I mean, your patterns aren't exactly graceful either.
And no, your intervention might not signal a new and healthy way of doing things, but that isn't the point quite yet. You'll get to where you can discern which healthy behavior is right for you to replace the unhealthy one, but let yourself go one step at a time.
Start with simply interrupting and doing something different to break the spell and then debrief the experience with yourself later. What worked? What didn't?
Do this and the next time you interrupt the pattern, you'll be a tiny bit more skillful. And a little more the time after that. Let it be a learning process because it is.
And let it be as simple as it is. All you have to do is something different and the new year will be shinier.
Sometimes you need company along the way. Pick a few friends and start by sharing this with them. Share button is below to make it easy.
Love and more love,