Oh man. This February has been brutal for me! The harsh cold, wind, and lack of sunshine this year has really sucked, to be quite frank. And I've watched my morale sink. I (and apparently most of my friends) want to hibernate, so I haven't gotten as much quality contact as I need. I've been working hard long past when the sun goes down.
Showing up for people the way I do day after day takes a LOT and I've really got to be on my game.
About a week ago, I crashed pretty hard. Hit a wall. Had lots of emotions all wanting to come out. Something had to give. I'm sure you've been there.
I felt bankrupt. Like I couldn't keep putting energy out until something nourishing came in. I usually do such a good job of keeping my self-care reserves high, but winter finally got the best of me.
So I used just about every tool I have available to me to get myself out of the red and back to feeling well resourced again.
I am feeling SO much better. I've definitely turned a corner and everything I've done is so worth it, even though it cost me time and money that I didn't particularly want to spend. (But now I'm very, very glad I did!)
The turnaround feels so significant and the tools so useful, that I decided to share with you. For the next time you find yourself in a serious funk.
Here's how to attend to your emotional needs:
1. Sit with yourself to discern what you need. At first, I didn't know exactly what I needed. I only knew I was exhausted, spent, and really upset. I sat quietly with my hand on my heart, slowed my breathing and my thoughts, and spoke compassionately to myself. What emerged was clear: I need to take better care of myself and feel more held and supported.
2. Call your friends. I called three friends and cried on their voicemails before I finally reached someone who answered and supported me beautifully. Those teary voicemails were great because I really shared my feelings and the details of what was happening for me. That way, when those people called me back later (and I couldn't answer), they left me long, very loving voicemails back saying just the right things. So I got to feel showered in love with all of that coming toward me.
3. Tell your friends what you need. When I did manage to talk with my friends, I shared with them that I was feeling spent and like I needed more support. I asked them to track me better and reach out more so that I felt more held. Since then, I've had more contact with them and really feel them showing up for me more, which has me feeling relaxed and nourished.
4. Schedule those sessions! Sometimes you just need to feel held and cared for by someone who considers that their job. I called on my care team---I booked a bodywork session, a two-hour acupuncture session, and a therapy session. I needed all three and it feels so empowering to be able to do that for myself. (It's also less pressure on my friendships).
5. Care for your body. When I feel in need like this, I let myself sleep longer, get my nutrition on track with healthy foods, and make time for yoga and rest.
6. Give yourself what you know you need. For me, I'd been knowing for a long time that I needed a tropical vacation this winter. And for some reason, I'd decided that working was more important, so I didn't get around to booking it. Until now. Mexico, here I come!
Yep, I brought out the big guns this time. Because that's what I needed. Give yourself permission to treat yourself exquisitely and consider that it's your job to meet your own needs, even if it seems drastic, expensive, or time-consuming.
This is not about doing a whole bunch of stuff to avoid how you feel and try to "make yourself happy" or try to get yourself to feel other than how you feel. If you've been following me for a while, you know I talk pleeeenty about feeling your feelings. No, this is about learning how to attend to your emotional needs. Because if you don't, life is just way harder than it needs to be.
Do you agree? Tell me about your process with your needs in the comments below, and be sure to check back for my response!
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With heaps of love and renewed self care,
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